Oh Ella

Ella, Ella, Ella.....I just want to bring her home with me every time I go to see her.  We have been holding her twice a day now for the past few days and I just can't believe how sweet she is.  It makes me think how lucky I was with our two boys....we had the 'privilege' of being woken up in the middle of the night by their cries, changing poopy diapers, being peed on, having sore arms and shoulders from holding them and comforting them, staring into their eyes and talking to them whenever we wanted to, and nursing them to health all hours of the day.  All these things were, at times, considered time consuming and taken for granted.

Lately, Erik and I have really noticed these 'privileges' that we seemed to overlook with the boys.  In how we wanted to hear Ella cry when she had a ventilator blocking her airway, how we cheer when she has a dirty diaper, how I would rather be nursing a sweet cuddly baby rather than a pumping machine, how we hang on to the last time we looked into Ella's eyes to carry us through until we see her again, and how we could care less about our sore arms and neck because we just want to hold her a little bit more.

I want to look at all areas of my life and think "is this really a burden?  or is it a privilege?"  What seems like a burden could really be a blessing.  I need to change my way of thinking.

Dear Ella has been doing well.  She had that scary drop in blood pressure on Thursday, but has recovered. Meds have been adjusted and she seems stable for the time being.  Her heart is functioning the same, which is good.  The cardiologists are adding another heart function medication so maybe we will see improvement.  Her feedings have steadily been increasing for the past 2 days.  They are still feeding her through a tube into her intestine, but it is going through and she is pooping on her own.  Her stomach still needs to improve so that she can eventually be fed into her stomach and finally through her mouth.  It is still a watching game.....see what little Miss Ella does and the doctors and nurses adjust what they can do.  We are definitely not out of the woods, but we continue to put our trust in Jesus daily and hourly.  Ella is His daughter and He holds her safe when I can't.

We continue to visit Ella twice a day, which is made possible by a wonderful group of friends who watch our boys while we go visit.  It is not a burden to have to go visit Ella in the hospital, it is a privilege and a wonderful blessing.