just right

since we have been going out more and more these days, we get more and more 'comments' these days.  'she is so small, she is teeny, wow 7 months'.  being the prepared, ready type, i feel like i need to prepare this whole speech or disclaimer to explain her whole situation.  should i?  what is the best way to show His love through all of this?  something to think and pray on.


when i got home tonight from the 'she's so small' comments i told ella that she was just right.  i want her to know that she was made just right.  
'i will praise you; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are your works; and that my soul knows right well.'  psalm 149:13  

 as i texted my husband about the interaction and my frustrations, he reminded me that 'we need to remember to be the good, positive voices for them. cause not many otherwise are.'  again, i'm reminded that as we live out life we really need to be the good, positive voices.

if we choose, we can live out a life that God has made for us......a fulfilling one.  YOU are all made juuuuust right!  you are made just the way God wanted you to be.  you have so many talents that He has bestowed on you to use for His kingdom.  use your talents, failures, strengths, weaknesses, LIFE to glorify Him.  this is what we are called to do.  i mean after all, He has given all that is good.  He gave His only Son!  the very thought of giving my flesh and blood for others gives me the true sense of sacrifice.  the only response that makes sense is to give back ALL that i have......what is your response?

i pray and pray for what my children will respond with......

for they have been fearfully and wonderfully made.

ella's first wedding

my sister, andi, was married to bob this last saturday.

it was a beautiful wedding. a great celebration and a wonderful day overall.

 

 my family was able to participate from erik officiating the wedding to me being the matron of honor.

 everyone was so beautiful, inside and out.  happy.  joyful.

ella showed her resilience.  she has a beautiful temperament.  i love my family so much and, once again, feel so blessed by them.

the end

appointment with the cardiologist

Ella's heart continues to do well and blow people away.  I mean her cardiologist even specifically said, "she's the bomb."  Her echo showed that the function has improved since the last time and her heart size is basically normal.  There are only a few trivial concerns, but they are small enough that they are comfortable taking her off of her main heart medication (digoxin).  Also took her off of zantac, which was for reflux.  So now she is down to 1 blood pressure medication, which if she continues to show improvement, they will most likely take her off of it in 2-3 months.  ?!?!  Off all medications by the end of the summer?!  Can't say how amazed and thankful we are.  She weighed 10 pounds 9 ounces at the doctors today.  She's still at the very low end of the growth chart, but she is growing.  Just waiting for some fat rolls!

We also stopped by the NICU today and saw a few of the nurses that Ella had.  It was great to hear the comments about how good she looked since it has been a while since they last saw her.  We hope it brightened their day to see how far she's come and to see the fruits of their labor as they continually work with premature and sick babies.  Forever grateful for the nurses' caring hands and hearts.

We think Ella has probably had cabin fever for pretty much her entire life, and with some nice spring weather finally here, we are itching to get her out more.  She's got so many people to meet & places to see, so there will definitely be more Ella sightings in the very near future!

priorities

trying to juggle, remember, enjoy, simplify.


i really do love my kids and husband, but (going to put myself out there) find myself constantly having to remind myself that it is all a gift and to be grateful.  grateful for breathing, laughing, living, togetherness, just being.  trying not to get stuck on the shallow ins and outs of life, but truly enjoying and remembering what is and has been given....life.

i want to cut back on all that complicates and focus on what matters.  trying to picture what that means and how to do it.....random thoughts.




ella has an appointment with her cardiologist on wednesday.  she is taking different combinations of 3 medications (digoxin, captopril, zantac) 4 times a day.  hoping that she will eventually not need these medications.  she weighs 10 lbs 4 oz.  she has only been nursing and really loves it, but i think i am a little concerned for her weight.  need to make sure she keeps an upward trend.  she has been sleeping really well and is establishing a routine for naps, eating, and awake time.  makes it a little easier to plan our day with her having more of a schedule.  all in all we are still in awe and so thankful for her in our life....for all 3 of our kids.  

ella

elijah

ayden

                    they are little miracles.

my cup runneth over

these past few weeks were such a blessing for many reasons.  a beautiful, thoughtful baby shower was thrown for me and ella by my sister and a group of wonderful girlfriends.  it's funny, but i felt honored to be at my own daughter's shower.  the sheer power of ella being alive and well is still mind blowing to me.  it is still very hard for me to hold my composure when i think about all of my beautiful family and friends and how they were an extension of god's love for me and my family.

me, my sister, and ella

a few beautiful friends inside and out

cookies that looked and tasted amazing by kenz

lovely ladies at the shower where amy was the gracious hostess

i was presented with a photo album from my sweet friend andi of andi mae photography (she's a professional ;) ).  she was able to capture our journey as we packed up at the hospital and headed home with our ella bundle for the first time.  she did an amazing job capturing the emotion and anticipation of ella's home coming.  i will be sharing those pictures soon.....simply amazing.

ella has been reaching great milestones.  she rolled over this past week.  we were beyond excited!

some tummy time to work on rolling over

some of erik's family has been able to visit for a few weeks, which has been wonderful.  to have his sister, niece and nephew, and mother around to witness ella's beautiful life has been so fun for us.

some of erik's family 

dancing with tante sonja

some of my aunts and uncles were also able to visit.  family is wonderful.

thank you, thank you to our jesus, family, and friends.  i really can't say it enough.

my dad, being the musician that he is, also wrote a song for ella and put video of ella's life in the hospital leading up to coming home to his music.  it really brings erik and i back to the beginning and is such a good reminder of how miraculous ella is.  so hard to go back, but good to remember how jesus is so faithful and full of grace.

view the video at my dad's web page.

all wonderful things that jesus has used to fill my cup.  i am overwhelmed and so, so grateful.

Getting bigger!

Ella has passed the 9 lbs mark!  She is gaining weight steadily and doing so well nursing and sleeping.  She is smiling so much more and interacting with us.  She is such a happy baby.  I am pretty sure that I get watery eyes every time she smiles at me.  Such a joy.  Here are a few pics of our growing Ella!  God is so good. 

                           

                                     

                                         Bath time with her brothers

Just loving her

I just can't help smiling when I look at her.  

My heart swells when I look at her.  

God feels the same way, magnified, when He looks at us, His children!

To know that He loves her more than I ever could is so comforting.